I saw this meme the other week & I thought it was hilarious and relatable. To me anyway. It also kind of got me thinking...
I was 'never good at maths' or 'high school learning' - well those were my excuses anyway. The truth is I was actually pretty good at maths and most other subjects - in primary school.
I relate 'becoming shit at maths' to the first 2 years of high school. Algebra etc. was introduced and I had an 'interesting' maths teacher for both of those years.
A teacher who although was at times pretty funny, made a point of pointing out and laughing or joking about the kids that 'didn't get it'. Sure it was amusing at times - if you weren't the target.
That combined with my anxiety, low confidence levels (and teenage brain) made it easy to just give up on th subject(s) all together. I didn't understand at all - but no way was I going to put my hand up to be ridiculed in front of everyone and be made to feel even more stupid!
To cut a long story short, this particular experience really set the path of my learning experience for High School. I didn't get it so I just didn't bother. Which obviously didn't lead to great outcomes.
Fast forward a few years and I now have my own school aged children. My son, who is in yr 1 hasn't found school work easy so far and has his challenging moments at school and home.
I had a bit of a revelation (or der moment) this week...
Picking my kids up from school, I went to Mr Yr1's teacher to see how the day went (it has been up and down lately both behaviourally and class work wise) and she said to me -
"He disconnects because he doesn't understand. Though if I stay with him and I motivate him he gets it and doesn't lose interest or give up".
Although I am aware of where he is at learning and behaviour wise, the first sentence really grabbed me. I realised that he - who has been particularly challenging lately... is actually more like me than I realised.
Yep. Can't believe I didn't see it before. Mumguilt/10 for being oblivious to the fact that he basically gets it from me! It's like I forgot about my own experiences with school and just didn't put it together or realize that I actually relate to him way more than I thought.
Since the start of prep, we have had multiple discussions with his teachers about him being 'silly', getting sidetracked and not focusing at school, not to mention the fact that he struggled to meet the 'expected outcomes' in his core subjects.
I've always wondered why he behaves the way he does. Why he's more challenging at times and what im doing wrong as a parent and have tried all different strategies to try and help.
When really, when I take the time to really think about it - I know exactly how he feels, why he's not asking for help and just not bothering.
He is just a different kid who learns differently and might need some help. Not just with getting to the 'expected levels' in his school work but in building his confidence & to help him learn strategies to deal with and succeed in anything thats thrown at him.
Sometimes as a parent it's hard to see things from our child's perspective. But sometimes it's as simple as reflecting on your own experiences as a child to realise that you might just relate more than you thought.
So we focused more on building his confidence rather than his work this week and what a difference it made. He has been more focused and yesterday came home with stickers and a little prize after being awarded 'star student' from his amazingly supportive teacher.
It's amazing what a difference can be made when we focus on confidence and mental wellbeing over targets and things that 'need to be achieved' - it all seems to just fall into place. ❤
